No Matter What…❤

​ “I am excited that finally told you, that I am inevitably in love with you and you don’t seem happy about it. I thought its a nice thing to know if someone loves you! What’s the matter?”, he said. What could I possibly tell this man who has just confessed everything he feels! “I am scared”, I murmured. “Of what?”, he held my hand and gazed into my soul via my eyes. ” I am scared of falling in love”, I couldn’t help but submit myself to him. “Why? You’re the person who taught me the true meaning of love. You are the reason that I can actually love not just you, but everything else around me. Why would you be scared?”, the moment when I realised he has already submitted himself to me! 

“I am scared to fall in love because if I did, it would be impossible to fall out of love. And this time, I won’t have the strength in me to collect all my clobberred pieces. I can’t afford that one more time. I can’t risk getting hurt again.I can’t risk the fact, that if it won’t workout, I wouldn’t see you again. I can’t tolerate not to see you again”. I leaned on my knees and cried. He stood still, saying nothing, he just held me tight and comforted me. I looked up at him, to my surprise, he was smiling. Because even if I didn’t said those words back, everything else that I said, made it clear that I loved him too. 

” You can’t lose me, I won’t let that happen. I know this from the past few days that I may not be the man of your dreams, but you surely are the woman of mine. The moment you looked at me with your sparkling and glowing eyes, I knew this is going to be a while. I could see your pure soul right through those eyes of your’s.” 

(Where the hell he was all these years!)

“I knew then, that I would love you someday.Since then, I’ve been waiting for that day! I just wanted to make sure, that if I am ever going to love you, I become a man with whom YOU can fall in love with. All these days I’ve been trying to be like ‘him’. I don’t know how far I’ve reached, but I love you more everyday; surely, ‘that’ man would love you like that! I know you’ve been hurt before which is scaring you from the next step here; in that account, I just want to thankyou, for what you are today and I love you for who you are. It takes even a stronger man to love  a strong woman like you! I want to be that man to you, if you let me. I want you to realise that for me, ‘forever’ means something.” He smiled at me like its end of the world.

(What could I possibly reply to the modern day shakespeare he was! Man! This man is good. He should write for movies)

I said nothing, but my cheeks did! I looked down for a second and smiled, then again at him, he was smiling too. He came closer, putting his hand on my face, he leaned in, we were almost going to have the best kiss of our lives! “Ba Ba Ba”….”Ba Ba Ba Banana”…Minions? “Do you hear something?”…”No”, he said and continued…”Ba Ba Ba”…I could still hear it, oh damn it! Its my alarm, I have to wake up now! aaaahhhuh….Why couldn’t you let him finish? Damn you modern day modes to intrude my dreams!!!

On my way to the class, I told about the dream to my friends. They laughed & cracked jokes about me, my dream and me being an idiotic hopeless romantic! 
For they don’t know what love is.They haven’t tasted this drug for real, and they don’t have any idea how addicted I am to it. 

HE don’t exist, but I love him already. HE exists in my imagination, which is quite enough for me. Even if I may never find HIM, I will always love HIM, no matter what…..! ❤❤❤

A story worth telling….

“I know she’ll say no, my gut feeling about such situations are always on point”, he said. “And my gut feeling is always right and it says that she’s worth the chance”, I replied. “Oh….Well, alright, I’ll talk to her”, he surrendered.

Its hard for you, if you’re an hopeless romantic and your best friend is in love with this girl since like forever! All you want is for them to be together, because that’s how you are- you want a long term love for yourself & since you don’t have one, you wish to let other’s love, win!

Jpeg

It seems like yesterday when Dave told me about Claire! Of course, we were in school back then! And, actually after a few months of their break-up, he told me yesterday (for real) that he’s missing her and been thinking about her! To which I responded like Professor Snape conversed with Dumbledore-“‘After all this time?’, ‘Always’!”

It was a beautiful time for Dave, he just became an uncle to his adorable niece, Rizzy and was visiting home after a long time. And I got this text from him saying, “I don’t know why I am thinking about her,here”! I told him many valid reasons to that, like 1) Because you guys know each other since childhood & every memory is suddenly alive again, OR 2) Because now that you’re at home, You’ve all the time to really re-think about everything. All I tried is to console him and be a good friend, its been like more than 6 months of their break-up!

And the next thing I realised after hearing him out was that, he loves her, will always love her & that break-up was a stupid thing, happened for a stupid reason. He was coping with my opinions and did second my decision on telling Claire everything, about how he feels and take a chance, without thinking about any consequences. Next text I got was, “We are back”…. All I could do in that moment was smile, like an idiot, not only that I was happy for them, but because yes, I loved the feeling when love wins and conquers all!

I didn’t tell him why i wanted them to be together clearly. But I guess he knew. He knew how lucky he is to have found his soulmate so early and still love her like always! What he didn’t know, was that, love like their’s keeps hope alive for people like us!

A hopeless romantic is never desperate for love. They just love loving, love. They love everything and everyone. They never lose hope and are always positive. Like while I write this, I love how the wind is kissing the leaves, and how those leaves are bound to dance on it and enjoy ….That’s Love…. A smile is stuck on my face, because I can feel that love without having to love anyone in my life, cause all I do, is love….

“Love is not what you do, love is the way you are”- Sadhguru

“I don’t know why all this has happened! What do you think about us T?” Dave asked furiously. “I am going to write something about it, that’s for sure and just so you know, you guys are meant to be together”, I answered.

Loving just one person your whole life is a treasure only few can find! I just want you to embrace your love and to the haters out there of the love you’ve got, Flaunt it…;)

The Canvas !

When you’re the person of art, everything about you becomes your art exhibition. They say, ‘life is a canvas’. So be it, but lets not forget that the most basic & primary colours used in every picture are Black n White. 

Black- the dark times, the rage, the sorrow, the fear, the hate !

White- the peace times, the love, the beauty, the happiness !

Everything around us, every sorrow or every happy moment, is a surprise. The happy ones are the ones we don’t wish to pass on to anyone else, because lets admit, we’re selfish, so something good happening with us must remain with us! Yet, we are kind, because every pain we come across, every misery we encounter, we always wish to never let that same thing happen to anyone else! We humans are such strange creatures!!!

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We have all shades of black and white. Our grey areas are both evil and good;  Still, we crave colours to be happy!

To That Man…

​Listen! 

You were alright, just not capable enough to love me like I do! Fair enough. You did what you thought was right for you, and in the long run, for me as well..! I understand, you did what you had to do. I understand, how bad and guilty you must have felt (for a while)…😛

You have all the right in the world to remain happy, in every possible way. You made a choice and prioritized yourself over others and I appreciate it. People often forget that the most important person in their lives is, them, and you of all, had the guts to sacrifice others’ emotions for YOU. You did the right thing.;)

I just want to Thank You… Not for ” what you did made me a whole new person crap”, but for those few days of cloud 9 happiness you gave me….Today, I want to Thank You, for all your love & support, for all the respect & encouragement, for all the blushing and butterfly in the stomach moments. Thankyou.:D

Some relations teach us what not we want in near future, but what I had with you, taught me what I do want. Thankyou. Obviously, I don’t know what is coming in our lives, but I hope that someday, you’ll have the ‘forever’ feeling with someone, whom you’ll never want to let go. Because all that I know, you made me happy & someday someone will make you feel the same…:)

You’re a free spirit, and you always make yourself the priority, which is the best thing to do in this selfish world. 

A perfect dream-reality it was and the best of all….Thankyou!.:D

Hopeless Love 💔

​That’s when it hit me; when I was sitting on the hospital bench, collecting every strength that I’d left because I had that exact accident, again. I had lived that horrifying tale again, moreover I had survived it. 

The bench was empty, the breeze was cold, the faces were unknown and I was all alone.

 And that’s when it hit me; I was about to give up on everything but my mind never allowed it. And there began the battle of mind & heart, all over again.

 ( this time I let my mind conquer it)…


Two times of accident & two times of heartbreak, changes everything in a person and his life.The second time of anything trembles you from within.

 That second time dent on my face and the second time scar on my heart that he left, made me a whole new person.


I never gave up on love, I will never do that, because I don’t believe that love is stupid.I believe, its wise and immortal. I still have that love for that man, I still hope for ‘someday’, but everytime I think this kind of reckless shit, my mind controls it and brings me back to reality.

I might not hope for love in future, but I still have hope for that Love I have for that man I truely loved, or may be I still do !

I am not foolish to think that way, because if an accident can happen twice, with exact same personifications, like its ONE, then who knows, that “lost love” of mine can come along again. And just like the second replica of the accident, it might harm less this time! I mean, what are the odds?!

Its the life of an hopeless romantic, who when loves someone with all true essence, loves them for eternity…….❤❤❤💔💔

Taking Time 💭

Writing is an exceptional art, that doesn’t come easily to you. To write is to worship words. We go inside the crossward paths of our heart and soul, we search for every possible way to create history through our words, yet we fail sometimes and still we try harder each day….💎📝

Writing needs peace of mind.It requires all the efforts together. The mind and soul  creating something new everytime, is a task parallel to meditation. 

I am just trying to get better with words, with life and with literature, so that I can pour better experiences in this jar of wisdom. 😌:D

Just trying to be more shagadelic ,with words as well… ;)😇

Travel Diary #1 (a story of a bus stop)!

In search of Peace!!!

Winter is here, so we wake up a little late, yet I try to be a morning person. Unfortunately, in spite of that, I missed my train. I was heading home. So, I was left with another most important public transport option,  a bus. Haven’t eaten a thing, I was starving. The bus was to be arrive 2 hours from now. “2 hrs.? I’ll go crazy, I must eat something”, I thought! The usual ‘Chai with Bun Maska’to the rescue, saved me!

When a person’s hungry, he eats faster, well I immediately took a sip of my tea, & burnt my tongue! Ouch! Sitting and waiting for the bus takes up alot of patience, you wonder a lot of stupid things in that spare time. As I was talking to little evil me in my head, I noticed an old man sitting on my front bench. He was trying to fold his blanket, but with just one hand. He was differently abled. As I glanced more keenly, how eager that man was to finish his folding as soon as he could! And all I could do was just wait for him to finish, he didn’t have right arm. I was watching him setting up his bag, I wasn’t sorry for him.Why would I? He might not have one arm, but he’s got all the courage and confidence in the world, which is most necessary to survive this harsh world. I just wanted him to get done with the things he was coping with, just wanting to watch him succeed, as I might win something! I was keeping myself busy enjoying my ‘desi breakfast’.

As soon as he packed his bag he stood up and went on his way and me, well, I won something. I still don’t klnow what.

Half a bun is killed by roaring stomach and wait for it! What happened next was like a murder. I took a sip of my bus stand taste like tea, a kid approached, moreover, a beggar, I must mention! He asked for money. Now, imagine your worst fear coming true ,telling you ,on your face that, “you suck girl! You’re the worst human being ever.” And still you are trying to cope!

So, I refused to give any money to the kiddo,(because I’m against it) & lucky for me he didn’t argue and went off  his way. If he’d have asked one more time, I surely would’ve handed him over my whatsoever left breakfast, instead that was the only meal I was going to have for the next 6 hours. But he wasn’t  there and I was experiencing my worst fear laughing at my face. I felt terrible. I was EATING and that kid, I wondered what would he EAT! I felt selfish.

I used to think of myself as a humanitarian. I think I still am. But as it turns out I finally realised that I am a human and that is how we are. All of my worries and stress just went away. As I came in light about some huge ironies of our society:

#1 Differently abled people are equally or may be more able than us, humans. Because they’ve more courage. They’re not cowards like us. They can face every hardship better and still we see them with pity and sympathy. Why? Because , we are the worst creatures. Because we are selfish, greedy, proudy, egoistic! They’re the worst of all the mental and physical diseases. So, I must call us HANDICAPPED.

#2 We always complain about a perfect society, yet we try to make one.We put efforts, to feed the poor, to help the needy and much more! Still,we fail. Then, we complain again. The irony is, there is nothing like a perfect society. There never will be.There’ll always be loopholes, but there’s one thing certain for us to do- Acceptance. Accept the truth & living in reality!

I had not accepted this thing until now, I really wanted to see a perfectly doomed society, which always use to dissappoint me in ways! Why people are so selfish & arrogant? Why they do the things they do?…bla..bla..

Now. That I’ve finally digested the real world, I will stay calm at times where I used to panic. I know how people are! All I (we) could do now, is making myself (ourselves) suitable for the good of the society. There is lack of goodness, but it’s still there & I (we) will contribute in it. I (we) will make myself(ourselves) better, will improve , everyday,such that, I(we)  will help others to stay sane. Do every good thing I(we) can possibly do, because the world needs me(us)!

World Peace Demanded! Amen.

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