A Letter to my Best Friend

Since we do not have much pictures clicked together like my other ones, I am writing this letter for you. And also, you not liking the camera much is the one thing I don’t like….😑

So Poodle🐶 ,

I am literally out of words when I think about how far our friendship has come! However, almost 8 years ago I became ‘Tandoori’ and you became ‘tommy’ to me…Always sharing consistent roll numbers in class, was one of the reasons we have this bond! Friendship is such a pure relation- it will never hurt you, ignore you or leave you! Just like you my friend! Even when I was ‘underground’ for a whole year, you tracked me down & talked like I was never away- you never ignored, hurt or left me. Thankyou for that. I am grateful for so many things, but I will only mention one- You are always there- Always when I want to talk from the stupidest to an important thing, when I am being naive about my ‘not-so-good’ love life; when I am angry or depressed- You are always there! You are truly a gem and I am lucky that you found me.😇

I am so proud of how far you’ve come and how stable and mature you’ve become over time! I learn so many things from, be it academics or life, one of them is to never give up on the ones you truly love.😌

You understand me speechlessly. You understand my silence, and that’s why we call your type of people – best friend.

There were times when I got the vibe people talking rumours about us being involved as more than friends, but that’s just a part of being best friends with the opposite gender! A struggle every friendship like our’s have to encounter. But it never ever bothered me, because, why would it!

And the hell we talk about, like every possible thing on the planet and beyond. Like, you tell me stuff, sometimes I don’t get & then you make fun of me- that’s not cool.😑

 And when we discuss all the awesome movies and blaaahhh…So much fun!

You’ve always supported me through hard times, gave me just the best advice.  Sometimes, scolded me- because I needed that too! Thankyou for all those times. And even when the last couple of months weren’t easy for both of us, I am glad that we’ve got each other’s back! We’ll always be there for each other- Laughing at each other (most of the times), crying together when our favorite celebrity or game of thrones character dies, sharing all of our fears and goals- and in all of that my friend, I’ll always be there for you.😃
You made my life better! Best friends do that… I love you and always remember- finish your study, get a job & buy me presents- for oh! so many ocassions taat you owe me!😝

 Thankyou for choosing me to be your best friend.Cheers to our lifetime bond.

And and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY……😘🎂🎁🎈

Still the same smiles..❤

Fair enough?

Was it right? All that pain, rage and sufferings?

Is it fair for us to stay like this?

I never thought that we were meant for this insensitive punishment! What’s the point after all?

I miss you everyday. I miss all of our talks.

I hate how we’re so connected yet so far away! Everytime I miss you, I wonder how life would’ve turned out so differently if positive had happened!!!

We might have grown together, unlike now, how we did grow apart! We might have more pictures clicked 😅…We might have travelled places ( okay, I know its not been that long, but what’s the harm to imagine!😛😋).

It feels like years have passed since I last saw you!!! Or last looked in your eyes, trying to read your thoughts!! I miss that!

It feels like ages! Am I silly to think this way or its just, my feelings never go away!!!?…You’re special, that’s why! ❤

The Infinite Days of ‘US’

Aren’t there certain times, when you are hell confused about something but couldn’t find the solution!? There are plenty. I’ve never been so confused in my life before! Not getting an answer to a question, around which your life revolves, is the most frustrating thing ever! You can’t find peace with anything, which is even more annoying than the question itself!

Your essence never leaves my side, its too strong. I am stronger than it, but its comforting and takes me back where I want to go!!

We can’t go back in time and change things or our actions. I don’t want to change anything infact. It made me what I am today & I love this new person! And I bet the new person that you’ve become is better for you too! So, its all good, then what is it that keeps us connected somehow?! Everything & every thought leads to you & yet, I can’t figure out why! Spending months to get over it and trying to find peace, I still couldn’t find out the reason of us still being together even after us staying apart!

I tried finding answers but all that I came up with were some ‘movie’ shit and philosophies!! Although, some relations are not meant to end, even if they did end! Some connections are rare to find! Some chemistries are not to look up into other people, but ONE ! Until now, I was confused & upset about not being able to figure out anything. But now I just don’t care what happens!!

I’ve accepted that we can’t be together, & that’s the ‘fault in our stars’⭐! But, also I know that we’ll always be together even if we are apart! Because there’s a part of Me that lives in You, and a part of  You that lives inside Me & nobody can take it away from us. We’re each other’s horcruxes ( only harry potter fans will know😅).

I am glad that it happened. I am glad that I met you, without which I would’ve never been able to experience the purest essence of love. Only few lucky ones know its power & only few can survive it forever! I am one of those lucky few, who know the beauty & flavour of the soul of true love & I am glad that I do.

And now that I know it, sometimes its okay to not find an answer, its okay to remain at “what if’s” , because even if you do find out, it might be something you aren’t expecting which may lead to you getting hurt!

Not knowing something like it, keeps us out of one of life’s crisis!

So, its okay to not know.

Life gives us enormous chances, but only few second chances! But I never felt as it is our last chance! As far as I know and I can go, we’ll be getting our share of second chances, whenever WE want! For all I know, we’ve got infinte days of ‘US’, until life figures it out itself! ….❤

The Girl Next Door 

The Girl Next Door 

Her eyes were like a fish tail, but I didn’t drown in them, although I did notice her perfectly applied liner. Well, let’s ignore that for a while, I am here to tell about her interview.

Shivangi Bajpai. Graduate, aspires to become an anchor. An anchor? Okay! I asked who inspired her to opt such an ambition!? And she started talking like a reality show judge, who want to say a lot but settles for how the performance went (even if they have no idea what was it about). Anyway, not just the inspiration, I got an answer mentioning her favourite actor and actor-ess! So many were there! Why would she be following these actor people? I asked curiously, expecting an answer I already knew by then, What is her aim other than money and fame as an anchor? She wants to be an actor. But, she did mention something that she’d like to change in herself, stage fright precisely in expressing herself! 

Weird, isn’t it? How we set our goals. We plan things to work on, yet we forget that the most basic thing is the unplanned self-confidence!

Still, this girl is not afraid of anything, she talked about her being so positive and determined.”Main apni favourite hoon”, she quoted  on asking what does she like most in the world. Amazing, she has stage fright, but she has confidence on her being the best! As amusing as it sounds, some people have their own little world around them, where everything happens according to ‘Your Highness’!

Talking about her world, she is a feminist, because since childhood, she has been facing freedom issues. The only thing she is not satisfied with is gender inequality, she says. Obviously, she can adjust as per the situation demands, but she would love to change the way girls are being treated in our society, which according to her, is the most degrading and disrespectful thing about the society we live in.

As being the person ‘too into her looks’, I asked her (on public demand) about the motivation behind changing her hair-do. All she said was that there was too much teasing and requests to change it. But, we can guess, there are more reasons to it! Clearly, “a princess do not lose her crown just like that”!

On that note, she is the youngest one in the family and she is really thankful & overwhelmed on how her family has always got her back. That’s what family is for! Duh!!!

On asking about future plans, she pushed on the point on being independent, because that should be the first priority of every girl, she believes. This girl should be a social activist in the women empowerment verse! But, she just feels it & says it, she is not going to take a step for it any sooner! I wonder why? To which she replied that people, mainly youth only get influenced by powerful, famous personalities & so, she is interested in being a person who is actually worth the follow! Very well she observes people’s mind! Then why does she have regrets on being backstabbed by former close friends? She says she is really helpful and emotional! Well, honey! There is no place of such kind of people in the industry you are ambitious to get in! Be strong & courageous and learn to fight your battles rather than to cry on them.

“I love laughing”, she said on asking why does she laugh so much, even on the silliest things! Good for her, may be that’s why her face glow like a jellyfish! Or is it make-up effect? Whatever, let’s leave it at that. 

There is a psychology behind why someone is the way they are! Also, I believe that there is a purpose with which each soul in this world is born. And until that purpose is fulfilled, they don’t leave the world. I asked her if she believes in this too! “Purpose is a filmy thing & I am not interested in destiny”, she said.

That is what I loved about this interview, I found perception and that’s what I crave to grow, rather than opinions.

No Matter What…❤

​ “I am excited that finally told you, that I am inevitably in love with you and you don’t seem happy about it. I thought its a nice thing to know if someone loves you! What’s the matter?”, he said. What could I possibly tell this man who has just confessed everything he feels! “I am scared”, I murmured. “Of what?”, he held my hand and gazed into my soul via my eyes. ” I am scared of falling in love”, I couldn’t help but submit myself to him. “Why? You’re the person who taught me the true meaning of love. You are the reason that I can actually love not just you, but everything else around me. Why would you be scared?”, the moment when I realised he has already submitted himself to me! 

“I am scared to fall in love because if I did, it would be impossible to fall out of love. And this time, I won’t have the strength in me to collect all my clobberred pieces. I can’t afford that one more time. I can’t risk getting hurt again.I can’t risk the fact, that if it won’t workout, I wouldn’t see you again. I can’t tolerate not to see you again”. I leaned on my knees and cried. He stood still, saying nothing, he just held me tight and comforted me. I looked up at him, to my surprise, he was smiling. Because even if I didn’t said those words back, everything else that I said, made it clear that I loved him too. 

” You can’t lose me, I won’t let that happen. I know this from the past few days that I may not be the man of your dreams, but you surely are the woman of mine. The moment you looked at me with your sparkling and glowing eyes, I knew this is going to be a while. I could see your pure soul right through those eyes of your’s.” 

(Where the hell he was all these years!)

“I knew then, that I would love you someday.Since then, I’ve been waiting for that day! I just wanted to make sure, that if I am ever going to love you, I become a man with whom YOU can fall in love with. All these days I’ve been trying to be like ‘him’. I don’t know how far I’ve reached, but I love you more everyday; surely, ‘that’ man would love you like that! I know you’ve been hurt before which is scaring you from the next step here; in that account, I just want to thankyou, for what you are today and I love you for who you are. It takes even a stronger man to love  a strong woman like you! I want to be that man to you, if you let me. I want you to realise that for me, ‘forever’ means something.” He smiled at me like its end of the world.

(What could I possibly reply to the modern day shakespeare he was! Man! This man is good. He should write for movies)

I said nothing, but my cheeks did! I looked down for a second and smiled, then again at him, he was smiling too. He came closer, putting his hand on my face, he leaned in, we were almost going to have the best kiss of our lives! “Ba Ba Ba”….”Ba Ba Ba Banana”…Minions? “Do you hear something?”…”No”, he said and continued…”Ba Ba Ba”…I could still hear it, oh damn it! Its my alarm, I have to wake up now! aaaahhhuh….Why couldn’t you let him finish? Damn you modern day modes to intrude my dreams!!!

On my way to the class, I told about the dream to my friends. They laughed & cracked jokes about me, my dream and me being an idiotic hopeless romantic! 
For they don’t know what love is.They haven’t tasted this drug for real, and they don’t have any idea how addicted I am to it. 

HE don’t exist, but I love him already. HE exists in my imagination, which is quite enough for me. Even if I may never find HIM, I will always love HIM, no matter what…..! ❤❤❤

To That Man…


You were alright, just not capable enough to love me like I do! Fair enough. You did what you thought was right for you, and in the long run, for me as well..! I understand, you did what you had to do. I understand, how bad and guilty you must have felt (for a while)…😛

You have all the right in the world to remain happy, in every possible way. You made a choice and prioritized yourself over others and I appreciate it. People often forget that the most important person in their lives is, them, and you of all, had the guts to sacrifice others’ emotions for YOU. You did the right thing.;)

I just want to Thank You… Not for ” what you did made me a whole new person crap”, but for those few days of cloud 9 happiness you gave me….Today, I want to Thank You, for all your love & support, for all the respect & encouragement, for all the blushing and butterfly in the stomach moments. Thankyou.:D

Some relations teach us what not we want in near future, but what I had with you, taught me what I do want. Thankyou. Obviously, I don’t know what is coming in our lives, but I hope that someday, you’ll have the ‘forever’ feeling with someone, whom you’ll never want to let go. Because all that I know, you made me happy & someday someone will make you feel the same…:)

You’re a free spirit, and you always make yourself the priority, which is the best thing to do in this selfish world. 

A perfect dream-reality it was and the best of all….Thankyou!.:D

Hopeless Love 💔

​That’s when it hit me; when I was sitting on the hospital bench, collecting every strength that I’d left because I had that exact accident, again. I had lived that horrifying tale again, moreover I had survived it. 

The bench was empty, the breeze was cold, the faces were unknown and I was all alone.

 And that’s when it hit me; I was about to give up on everything but my mind never allowed it. And there began the battle of mind & heart, all over again.

 ( this time I let my mind conquer it)…

Two times of accident & two times of heartbreak, changes everything in a person and his life.The second time of anything trembles you from within.

 That second time dent on my face and the second time scar on my heart that he left, made me a whole new person.

I never gave up on love, I will never do that, because I don’t believe that love is stupid.I believe, its wise and immortal. I still have that love for that man, I still hope for ‘someday’, but everytime I think this kind of reckless shit, my mind controls it and brings me back to reality.

I might not hope for love in future, but I still have hope for that Love I have for that man I truely loved, or may be I still do !

I am not foolish to think that way, because if an accident can happen twice, with exact same personifications, like its ONE, then who knows, that “lost love” of mine can come along again. And just like the second replica of the accident, it might harm less this time! I mean, what are the odds?!

Its the life of an hopeless romantic, who when loves someone with all true essence, loves them for eternity…….❤❤❤💔💔