I am wondering that what is so good about you, that even after months of trying, I am unable to get over you!! It feels like depression, I cry for no reason & sometimes I feel weak and shivered. Just last night, I felt like I am going to die with some ‘overthought’ disease of mine & may be ‘granting’ it as my last wish, you’ll remain with me for whatever days I’d left! That’s how silly can one be!😛
Then, I got scared, not because I literally am going to die (I am gonna live a long and healthy life, don’t flatter yourself bitches😎).
I was scared for myself! I was scared because I, until now, couldn’t really understand my ‘dying disease’! It strike me in my moments of overthinking, that
“we create scenarios in our heads, not because we want that to happen ( I obviously don’t WANT do die at such a sexy age, duh!😑) , but we create them because we just want our unfinished and flattering desires to get fulfilled!”
As in this case its ‘being with you’. All of my ‘deadly’ behaviour is surrounded by this wish at any cost & here, my death.!!! WTF!
You’re my biggest disease. I can’t quit you, I can’t ignore you and since you’re a part of me, I can’t hate you. I wish I was as deadly in real life , as you!!
Moreover, you came into my life, when everything was perfect & smooth, and in addition to you, it was nonetheless a dream come true! Timing!
But, you left at the time, when I was vulnerable & everything was about to change! I wasn’t at my best but also not at my worst either, because ‘I thought’ you were there! Then, when I needed you the most, you were gone- THEN I was at my worst!
But somehow, I re-occured in a way, that I don’t feel the need of anyone anymore but myself! I am the most worthy and trustable company for myself! I don’t even feel the need to TALK to anyone!
Yet, here I am , thinking that “Man! I thought it was over, but it isn’t! Timing is a bitch and an angel too! However,
“You have a brilliant sense of timing” !